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Monday, August 15, 2011

Worries...

Things have been so beyond upside down in my life right now. I don't even know where to start or if I should. I start school in less than 12 hours, and I still have no funds for books. It hurts to know that I have almost nobody to turn to anymore. I miss the old days of feeling somewhat loved by my family... Right now, all I want is to move away and start over. *sigh*
I've also been thinking about my uncle, a lot. I miss him so much, it's painful. There's so many things I see or do and just think "Oh, Mark would like this!" or "I should ask Mark...", and then I remember that I can't and that I will never be able to do so again. I didn't know this would hurt so bad. It's officially 8 months that he's been gone, and it hurts as much as day 1. I wish I could just talk to him one more time and tell him how much he means to me and how grateful I am to have known him. I don't know what to do with all this pain anymore...

On the positive side, David had to go to San Diego for work, so I tagged along, and we ended up visiting my good friend and going to the zoo (we have passes we got for Christmas). It was a lot of fun and gave me a glimpse of the happiness I used to feel. I reallyhope things change soon, as our lease is up at the end of next month, and we have nowhere to go nor the $ to do so. I'm so nervous and stressed all the time that I am literally making myself physically sick, so this little random trip to San Diego was definitely needed. Anyway, I had forgotten about this blog, not that anyone reads it, but I will try to update it more often. Off to watch YouTube Videos and read beauty blogs.

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